What happened? This weekend, I went from tees and tanks to down jacket and toque. There was no gentle introduction to Autumn. It was abrupt , early and unwanted.
I am desperately trying to cling onto these last days of my glorious summer break. Trying to hold off the nightmares and stresses of what I have to do before the dreaded day following Labour Day arrives. The quick change in the weather has been the loudest wake-up call yet.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I already love all 44 of those little people whom I have barely even met. I know that they may be trying to learn my name or to spell their own name in order to impress me on day #1. Some of them may be terrified by the thought of starting school. Most will be oblivious to what ‘back to school’ means. And all of them have no idea that they are embarking on a 13+ year commitment to education. I am starting to feel the pressure of making sure that they love every minute of it. It’s no wonder that I wake up these days with my mind churning.
Do you remember your first day of Kindergarten? I don’t. But I do remember snippets from that year and most of those are memories of feeling inadequate or not getting to do what I wanted. Sounds typical of a 4 year old mindset, don’t you think?
I may be grown up and I may be the one in charge of all these tender souls, but I still feel the same as my childhood self. During these final 6 days of Summer, I feel inadequate and I’m bummed that soon I won’t get to do what I want.