Today, I am staring blankly out at my front yard, still dressed in my warm jammies and robe. I have a cold. I am exhausted by simply going up stairs. I stayed home from work.
It’s funny that when I am feeling well, I am able to consider things in the future:
What races should I do next summer?
Where will I run this weekend?
Should I do the regular loop in the park or should I look for that new trail?
Who is going to join me? Do I need a day of solitude on the trails?
Let’s have pasta for dinner.
But when sickness comes, I can’t think past now.
Who cares what’s for dinner?
Why would I even consider running?
I can’t even get up the strength to get another cup of tea.
Sickness reduces my thoughts to “Right now I feel …..”. I remember having that feeling for a long time after getting whiplash in a car accident. For months, I couldn’t get motivated to do anything. I was completely content to sit and watch the world go by. I went to work, but I was in survival-mode. Even going to the grocery store required enormous effort. It is a terrible state to be in. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a serious illness or a health issue that had no end. I truly appreciate being healthy and living well.
But today as I sit here, I know that I am almost better. I’m looking out at the snow falling thickly and swirling around my maple tree and I catch myself thinking about the future.
Will I be able to get some fresh tracks in before the rain comes?
I must be on the mend. Although I am sick, I am still healthy.