When sickness comes

Today, I am staring blankly out at my front yard, still dressed in my warm jammies and robe.  I have a cold.  I am exhausted by simply going up stairs.  I stayed home from work.

It’s funny that when I am feeling well, I am able to consider things in the future:

What races should I do next summer?

Where will I run this weekend?

Should I do the regular loop in the park or should I look for that new trail?

Who is going to join me?  Do I need a day of solitude on the trails?

Let’s have pasta for dinner.

But when sickness comes, I can’t think past now.  

Who cares what’s for dinner?

Why would I even consider running?

I can’t even get up the strength to get another cup of tea.

Sickness reduces my thoughts to “Right now I feel …..”.  I remember having that feeling for a long time after getting whiplash in a car accident.  For months, I couldn’t get motivated to do anything.  I was completely content to sit and watch the world go by.  I went to work, but I was in survival-mode.  Even going to the grocery store required enormous effort. It is a terrible state to be in.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a serious illness or a health issue that had no end.  I truly appreciate being healthy and living well.

But today as I sit here, I know that I am almost better.  I’m looking out at the snow falling thickly and swirling around my maple tree and I catch myself thinking about the future.

Will I be able to get some fresh tracks in before the rain comes?

I must be on the mend.  Although I am sick, I am still healthy.

Published by

Along A Path

general lover-of-life, including ultra-running, teaching, enjoying craft brews, being outdoors and living simply

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